In May 2009 Ireland was shocked to its core by the Ryan report that revealed systemic and pervasive child abuse in Catholic-run boys’ schools since 1936.

Since then no effort has been spared to find suitable scapegoats. This frenzy of accusation and incrimination has resulted in the Murphy report published last month, which states that the leaders of the Irish church deliberately covered up reports of abuse of young boys by priests.

And now an apologetic Vatican has announced that, in an act of penance, it will ‘significantly reorganise‘ the Irish Catholic church. There might even be some resignations.

Let me clarify this for you in plain, uncensored language:

Adult men have beaten, assaulted and raped hundreds of young boys over many decades, and this fact has been deliberately covered up by other adult men. The appropriate penance is deemed to be ’significant reorganisation’.

I don’t expect ’significant reorganisation’. At the very least, as an absolute bare minimum, I expect to see excommunication, followed by swift criminal prosecution, culminating in severe prison sentencing!

I expect heads to roll. I expect the guilty to be publicly named and shamed and thrown in jail for the remainder of their natural lives. I expect enormous sums of compensation money to be paid to the victims. I expect every party even vaguely complicit in the cover-up to be punished as severely as possible under the law.

But instead we get ’significant reorganisation’? Are you fucking kidding me?!

If Ireland as a nation has its collective head so far up the Catholic church’s anal orifice that it accepts apologies, reorganisations and token resignations as sufficient penance for these unspeakably horrific acts, the Irish people have truly lost their way.

A country that deals with these heinous crimes in such an inexcusably lame and cowardly way doesn’t deserve to be called civilised.

I propose that we shove the whole complacent Irish population into containers and ship them to Afghanistan where they can join their Taliban brothers in the stone age. Then we can repopulate the island with truly civilised people and can continue to enjoy its natural beauty, without having to deal with these toothless, spineless cowards.